Saturday question #38: Overcoming fear
Written on October 31, 2009 in Saturday Questions & with 14 responses
Tags: fear, saturday question
This week's question could be missleading, so just a little note beforehand: today's date is a pure coincidence, it has nothing to do with this question. It's about fear. Everyone's afraid of something, some of us less, some of us more.
What do you do to overcome fear? How do you deal with fear? How do you make the fear go away?
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14 Reactions to Saturday question #38: Overcoming fear
Pravila za komentarisanje:
I guess my biggest helper is music. For example before my final exam in Estonian (writing a long essay), which I was most afraid of, I just heard Before the Beginning in my head. It is just such a calming instrumental. Every time I felt that fear is getting in the way of me writing a good essay I just concentrated to that song in my head for a while. It worked very well.
I am not used to new situations and I was very nervous the day before my first day at the university. My friend was feeling the same. So we sat down and listened to Led Zeppelin in the dark until 2 o'clock in the night. And throughout the next day every free moment there was, I would listen to Led Zeppelin and feel confidence flowing in me. Music makes me confident.
And the second biggest thing to overcome fear for me is the way of thinking that everything that is supposed to come, comes in a way that it is meant to. I believe in destiny, but not in a definitive way.
Music, reading and meditation for most things other than bugs. I just can't seem to never find help for my fear of bugs.
This is a tough one. I like to find inspiration in the things that interest me; of course, music. But other things include quotes such has: "there would be nothing to frighten you if you refuse to be afraid" - Gandhi.
Another way I find I overcome fear is just telling myself to "face up". For example, if I was walking down a street and saw a gang coming my way, everything in my body screams to cross the road, but I never do.
The way I overcome fear is to realize that what I am actually believing is accurate. Say for instance I want perform on stage in front of a thousand people and I think "what if i mess up?" "what if I forget the song?" all these things are natural to think but are they real and accurate? Its a different story when you have your life to protect like a knife to your throat but what I'm talking about is imaginary fears. I feel like I'm making myself mess up if I think about 'messing up'. Instead I focus on what I want and everything falls into place normally. If it doesn't you learn what not to do. I enjoy the feeling of fear. I makes me feel alive I've found. In essence I just change my beliefs.
I used to have a big fear of speaking in front of groups -eg: giving presentations at uni - and the larger the group I had to perform in front of, the greater my fear. I would feel the apprehension building and my breath would start to get shallow and constricted. I would try to calm myself down by taking deep breaths and asking myself what was the worst thing that could happen? etc...
But ultimately, the way I overcame this was to just be really well prepared and know my subject really well, and just from having to give them on a regular basis. Thorough preparation minimizes what can go wrong and increases your own sense of confidence and competency, which generally means that things end up going well. And regular exposure to the situation meant that I got more comfortable at doing it over time. Public speaking is still not my FAVOURITE thing to do, but it no longer holds the fear that it once did!
True story:
Watching the Dog Whisperer helped me with my fear of dogs. I'm still scared of big ones that bark at everything that gets near their homes, but I used to get too nervous with small, inoffensive doggies. If one of those catches me nervous and starts barking, I can stay cool-blooded and say "Hey!" just like César Millán does, while raising both my head and an arm. Dogs get the idea of "ok, this is a big guy, confident of his size, better not mess with him", and they peacefully leave.
Hooray for animal psychology!
always think on fear, and than I am really afraid, and I discovered that my largest fear is to do something not to please my parents,
that they are the people that more they love me,
and that I discovered that I also love, and I didn't know about that until happen things that really chatiaram them
because they showed my characteristics that me hid, for they be not good, and that made to see me that my largest fear is to do things that move away them of me.
Every time that I am afraid, I feel alone because
I am surrounded of friends, more I know that they don't love me of truth, and only in my parents I find that love...
then I begin to be sad and suddenly
somebody is there with me, somebody that never leaves me, even if the world rejects me... then I feel never alone,
and the things that separate me of my parents
they end if solving.
ps:. excuse, I am Brazilian and I don't speak very English, more I think gives for understand
Good question. actually i've got acrophobia to the extent that i can't even tolerate someone else standing at the edge of a height...i referred to a physician and he gave me a treatment which is totally based on mental practice...to do so, he asked me to close my eyes and then imagine myself on the verge of falling from a height and let that feeling of fear dissipate all over me so that the panic resulting from my acrophobia reaches a peak level, and then it starts to descend and vanish...it requires recurring practices to make the fear go away...
don't forget, the fear in your subconcious
question just coincidence? maybe.... 
*boo*
The only way to overcome fear is to face it I guess. I started working on my fear of spiders many years ago by simply talking to them, saying hello to them, demonsterising them. I moved on to picking up small spiders and now can actually capture large spiders and put them outside without freezing to the spot (lucky since I'm single right now).
I'm still working on my fear of water! I will go on a boat now but I still won't/can't go out of my depth in water, I do just freeze up when I even try.
i listen to john frusciante
Listening to music.
When I'm feared of something I need to do in order to make life become better, I try to beat the the fear at its own game, creating a fear of what will happen if I won't do it that overwhelms the other one.
"Fear, some say, gives us such long lives/Leads us where we drive" (After the Ending)
I don't. I don't overcome my fears , instead I try to think about something else. I listen to a lot of music which makes me happy, music is my life. I read books.
Anything that can make me think about something else is welcome. I hate it but I don't know what to do but listen to music. I need to face it my fears otherwise one day they're gonna tear me apart.
Usually I don't get afraid of people or animals, those fears are easy to handle.
Sometimes I'm just alone, even though I'm surrounded by my friends my parents and my sisters but I just want to escape from myself sometimes. Sometimes it's just the other way round, I want to escape inside myself. People just look at me seeing that 16yearold girl looking as harmless as you could get with blonde hair and you know little curls but I'm so afraid sometimes. So afraid.
Why am I always so positive when I'm talking to them why? Why don't I open myself to those I can trust.
I need John Frusciante.
Well, I really don't know. I just usually build myself up and go and do it. For example, I have a fear of public speaking. I hate getting up in front of people and giving a speech. I can know what I'm going to say by heart, but I'll get up there and become an idiot. I just go out there and get it over with. I guess I do the same for other things.